For my birthday, my mom got me dinnerware. They have peacocks on them and they are fantastic. I've been using a collection of plastic plates for years which basically made me feel like I was in a dorm room at college. Clearly, I am gradually becoming an adult. Obviously I don't want to rush the process, given that I'm only 29 years old but real place settings seem like a step in the right direction.
Anyways, what started as a simple task to put away the new dishes has turned into an epic reorganization of my entire kitchen. My thoughts on the whole process and what I found...
1. Why, when I only drink alcohol approximately 4x/year, do I have 17 wineglasses, 10 shot glasses, 6 margarita glasses and 4 martini glasses w/ a shaker? It's taking up valuable cabinet real estate that I need for my tupperware!
2. Speaking of tupperware, why do I have nine lids for a specific type of container, but only one actual container?
3. Blender, Juicer, Food Processor, Dehydrator, Mini Food Processor, Spiralizer... I have an addiction to kitchen appliances. Is there a support group for that? Just kidding... I wouldn't go. I don't actually have a problem. I need all of them and it doesn't count as an addiction if it's an essential part of your life. Right?
4. Of all of those appliances, you'll note that I do not list a microwave, which is arguably the most common of all kitchen appliances, after the toaster maybe. Some people find this shocking but I've been living without one for 2 years now and think nothing of it. The only time it really irritated me was when I was craving popcorn. I don't really like popcorn that much but a couple times a year, it sounds good. So I went to the grocery store for that one specific item, bought a box of microwaveable popcorn, got home, unwrapped the package and then and only then, did I remember I didn't have a microwave. That box was still sitting in my cabinets until approximately 20 minutes ago when I pitched it.
5. My toaster has a setting for PopTarts on it. The little knob literally goes from light toasting to PopTarts instead of light toasting to dark toasting. Surely I'm not the only one who thinks that is awesome.
6. I found my pitcher in the shape of the Kool-Aid Man. I don't really drink Kool-Aid anymore* but I kind of want to fill it with water and put it in my fridge b/c it makes me laugh.
* I should clarify that I don't drink Kool-Aid not b/c I am an adult but b/c I might as well be drinking the liquid form of an illicit drug. So much sugary goodness. In fact, I fear that much sugar might make me go nuts to the point where I start thinking I am the Kool-Aid Man and I really don't think that my landlord would appreciate me busting through the walls of my apartment, screaming "Oh yeah!". I would probably lose my deposit.
7. Remember when I said I was gradually becoming an adult? I was lying. I have alphabet letter magnets on my refrigerator. I'm pretty sure they are supposed to be for little kids to use when learning to spell. And yes, I already know how to spell.
8. Where is all my silverware? I have 3 forks, 2 knives and oddly, 5 spoons. A few weeks ago, I got home from work and my apartment smelled like fried chicken. I have not eaten fried chicken in six years so now, I'm pretty convinced that someone broke into my apartment, ate fried chicken, stole 1 fork and two knives from me but left me an extra spoon, probably b/c they felt guilty or something. Not cool Burglar. Not cool.
9. Recall, if you will, that this whole process started because I was going to put my new dishes away. They are still sitting on my table. By the time I reorganized everything, I was too lazy to wash, dry and put them away. My laziness is a win for you though, because I wrote this blog instead. You're welcome!
Peas and Love, PopTarts!
Editor's Note: Toaster Strudels are the far superior breakfast pastry but PopTarts will do in a pinch.