Sunday, September 23, 2012

When I Grow Up

When I was little, like most kiddos, I always had ideas about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  For a while, I wanted to be an archaeologist.  I imagined traveling to Egypt and digging around in the sand with pyramids and sphinxes behind me.  I thought every day would be like a treasure hunt.  I went so far as to bury little things in my backyard, in the hopes that I would forget what I buried there so that when I went back to dig it up a few months later, it would be like uncovering an ancient artifact.  And if a McDonald's Happy Meal toy or a Barbie hairbrush isn't considered an artifact or treasure, I don't know what is.

I also wanted to be a pediatrician, which is laughable given that my own pediatrician scared the living daylights out of me.  There was a phase when I wanted to be a teacher, which is slightly less laughable but I'm still not sure America's youth should really be entrusted in my hands.  And then came the lawyer years.  This came about because I really like the show "The Practice."  It seemed so exciting... lots of debating, some death threats and romance, all in a day's work!  But then I realized that in real life, it's probably less like "The Practice" and more like a Brown & Crouppen commercial so I nixed that.

Obviously, I'm already (kind of) a grown-up and have a career plus a side career in the making but there's still a bajillion other things I want to be...

I'd like to own a bookstore.  I want it to be one of those adorable little shops with a mixture of old and new books.  There will be comfy chairs and potentially a fire place but only if people promise not to throw books in there just because they don't like the ending.  I'll have my "regulars" like old Joe, who will browse through the history books and Crazy Cat Lady who comes in wearing her cat-shaped slippers and browses through the pets section.  And let's not forget about Lonely Linda who buys a new self-help book every other week.  But of course, people of all walks of life will gather here for a read and a coffee or green tea.  Hipsters?  Sure.  Come on by in your skinny jeans.  Little kids?  Absolutely.  Saturday story hour, here we come.  Health nuts?  Are you kidding me?  I'll hang out in that section with you while we drink our green juices.  Budding chefs?  Stop by and peruse my wonderful selection of cookbooks.  And then after you make something from the cookbook, stop by again and drop off a little sample for me... especially if you are a baker and what you just made was a cupcake.

I'd also like to own a gym.  Not a big huge fancy gym but a smaller one so I can give more personal service.  I want it to be a place where anyone would feel comfortable b/c I think that part of the problem for a lot of people is that they are intimidated by gyms and they compare themselves to all the smoking hot people walking around that in reality, really only make up approx. 5% of the people I see on a daily basis at my current gym.  Of course, I'm one of the 5%.  Just kidding... I'm the girl wearing the t-shirt and capris and sloppy ponytail.  Anyways, my gym will be a place to build confidence as well as muscle... to lose the self doubt as well as the weight.  But be forewarned, while I consider myself to be a really sweet girl, there is a slight shift when I lace up my tennis shoes so be prepared to work.  If you're slowly meandering on the treadmill, I will be forced to kick it up a notch or 12 for you.  If you're swinging around a 5lb weight, I reserve the right to replace it with 10.  Trust me, it's for your own good.  :-)  

I want to be a writer too.  Now you might be thinking, Erica, you already are a writer b/c I'm reading your blog right now.  Technically, you would be correct.  But I kind of want to write a book.  I don't really know what kind of book but something fantastic.  Something funny and witty and unique.  I not-so-secretly hold out hope that someone in the book business will discover this blog and offer me a $10 million advance to write the next bestseller.  My only problem is that I really don't want to have to take a picture for the book jacket (I take weird pictures) and I really, really don't want to have to write a short biographical blurb about myself.  I'll hire a ghostwriter to do that part.  But I will say one thing, if my book ever ends up in the bargain bin, sandwiched between Sarah Palin's and a book on origami, I will cry.

So those are just a few of the things I want to be when I grow up.  I've got more but my laptop is running out of juice.  Also, I'm starved to death and a hungry writer is a cranky writer so I'll leave the rest for another day.

Peas and Love, Pumpkins!


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