Sunday, June 26, 2011


Happy Sunday to all!  Hope everyone had/is having a lovely weekend.  I most definitely did.  Anyone do anything fun, see anything amazing?  The highlight of my weekend was definitely getting my acceptance letter to SLU.  Nutrition and Dietetics, here I come!  Biology and Chemistry, watch out!  I am going to take you down to Chinatown.  Lab experiments and 742-page papers, beware!  I am going to ace you.

Now you may have noticed that this blog has a different look to it.  You gotta mix it up every now and then... change and shake things up.  I think it looks a little more "me" now anyway.  The other layout was maybe a little too cutesy or pretty or something.  This feels a little more fun with a slight edge.  Plus I like black, which sounds totally depressing and a little goth maybe, which is not me, but nonetheless, it is what it is.  Maybe I am like the bright colors that pop off the black?  It's likely that I will change it again in a few months anyway.  I get a little restless with things sometimes.  This is why I do things like move every year... until now!  I have officially signed my renewal lease on my apartment.  This will be the first time I have stayed in one place for more than a year since I moved out of my parents house for college.  I was like a gypsy, which I enjoyed but let's be real... the actual work of moving is a pain in the butt.  And I'm pretty sure my family and friends may have disowned me if I asked for help moving again.  I love you guys!

Last topic of this evening is in regards to my cleaning spree that I went on tonight.  I wanted to get rid of some stuff, which I love doing.  It feels cleansing.  I was doing really good until I got to my closet.  Since I've been losing weight, I've been taking a couple things out of my closet every few weeks to donate to Goodwill.  Needless to say, my clothing options are getting smaller and smaller, which is good but also hard to get used to.  My problem tonight was that I'm down to some of my favorite things that I know don't fit anymore but I just love them to death.  I know that I should send them to a better home but I'm having a hard time with it.

I think part of the reason (and it really really really pains me to admit this to anyone), is that there is this tiny, little, insignificant piece of me that worries that someday, I may gain all this weight back.  I KNOW intellectually that it won't happen because I have made sustainable changes to my lifestyle, rather than crash diet-type changes, and because I just know myself now, better than I ever have.  This healthy version of me is the real me and that's why I know that this is the way I will live the rest of my life.  But still, you hear about people who gain weight back and that freaks me out a little.  Again, let me just say, that of anything I've ever said on this blog, this is the hardest for me to put out there.  I really hate the idea of anyone thinking there might be a tiny chink in my armor of optimism and will.  But I think it's normal and I'm sure everyone has their moments of doubt, right?  Hopefully you guys can relate to what I'm trying to say.  But in the end, what matters is how you use that doubt to spur you on and motivate you.

So I know that I don't need these clothes anymore and I am definitely going to pass them on.  And I won't lie, as cute as I think these dresses are, I'm pretty excited about replacing them with something different.  This girl loves shopping.  All that I ask of whomever gets the little black dress that I'm getting rid of, is that you take it out for a night on the town or wear it on a super-hot date.  It deserves that much.

Peas and love guys!  Have a beautiful week!

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