Tuesday, July 5, 2011

It's Kind of Like a Blog Version of MTV Cribs

Lucky readers!  Today, I'm going to give you a little glimpse into my apartment... my sanctuary... my humble abode... or as they say on MTV Cribs, the place where the magic happens.  Seriously, I'm pretty sure every single rapper that has been featured on that show makes that same lame joke when the cameras show the bedroom.  It is as predictable as knowing that there will be at least one bottle of Cristal in the refrigerator. Rest assured, there is no Cristal in my fridge.  I think there might be a bottle of Two Buck Chuck though.  Same thing.  So join me, dear readers, as we take a look at a few things you'll find in my bachelorette pad.

First up, we have a Bobble-head Naked Mole Rat.  Rufus stands atop a pile of nachos.  If I remember correctly, he was in my Christmas stocking one year and now he watches over my kitchen from the top of the fridge.  I wish I could say he is a good luck charm in the kitchen but given the amount of culinary experiments gone awry and the number of injuries incurred, this is clearly not the case.

If you've never seen the cartoon Kim Possible, you should definitely change that.

Next up is a movie that I'm sure you've all seen and probably own.  How it was overlooked at the Oscars is a mystery I will never be able to solve.  From Justin to Kelly is a musical masterpiece starring American Idol Kelly Clarkson and runner-up Justin Guarini.  

It's a "Special Edition" because it's probably the only copy on this planet that hasn't been destroyed.

I'm actually embarrassed to admit that I own this and I'm not sure why I'm putting it out there.  I typically keep it stored behind other DVDs where no one will see it.  But I will say one thing about this unfortunate black mark on Kelly Clarkson's resume.  This movie is hilarious.  It's so cheesy that you can't help but laugh.  I recommend watching this whenever you are upset about something in your life.  It makes you realize that no matter how bad things are, they could always be worse.  You could always be Justin Guarini.  Just kidding Justin.  I looked you up on IMDB and evidently you were on Broadway or something so that's not too shabby.

And now we have my "coffee table."  It's actually a wooden chest that my Grandpa made for me when I was a kid.  I love this piece of furniture.  It started out black and had my name on it.  Then this year, I decided that I needed more color in my apartment so I decided to paint it.  First I painted it white and was going to do a design of brightly colored flowers all over it.  But then I remembered that I couldn't draw if my life depended on it.**  So then I painted it a minty green-ish color and was going to do black pinstripes down the sides.  But then I decided that was too boring and not colorful enough still.  So then I painted it white again and am in the process of glueing these stones on top.  What started as a nice afternoon project that I thought would take just a couple hours, has turned into a two-month-long grueling ordeal.  After about half an hour of gripping the glue bottle, my hand takes on a claw-like shape around the bottle and I have to use my other hand to straighten it out.  I worry that this project will end with me losing full functionality of my right hand.  It will probably be worth it though.  It looks pretty cute.  The chest, I mean, not my claw-hand.

Who wants to finish this for me?

**This is kind of a lie.  I can draw a really cute cartoon cat with huge eyes.  And hearts.  I am fantastic at doodling hearts.

Picasso himself couldn't draw a better cat.

So there you have it.  I always like going to someone else's place for the first time because I love to see the random things that people accumulate and hold onto.  It's those little things that add personality to your digs, you know?

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