Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Less Body-Shaming, More Love People!

If you’ve been following my blog from the beginning, you may recall some posts about my “journey” for lack of a better term towards losing weight and getting healthier.  If you know me personally, you know how big of a deal this has been for me… an actual life-changer, if you will.  Obviously, a huge part of the process is the physical change… actually losing the weight, being able to do things like run or lift weights that I couldn’t before. 

But equally as important is the mental portion of the process.  This part is really hard for me to write, so bear with me.  Usually when I write a blog post, I type whatever comes to mind b/c most of the time, I’m just being silly.  When I write about cereal or birds or childhood crushes on candlesticks, I know that I’m putting a small part of myself out there b/c it’s my own personal writing but those individual posts are not part of my heart.  They reflect the goofy, fun part of my personality but it’s light, airy writing, aimed at entertaining people.  This topic is personal and meaningful and sensitive so be please be respectful if you respond via comments or email or facebook.   Honest, but respectful.

So back to the mental portion… I used to have horrible self-esteem.  I was uncomfortable in my own skin and would have been hard-pressed to come up with a list of my good qualities.  I just didn’t place a lot of value on what I brought to the table.  It’s a horrible, horrible feeling and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy and I truly mean that.

That’s in the past now, though.  To be honest, today, I kind of think I’m pretty awesome.  I think I’m fun and witty and smart and cute (except for maybe when I first roll out of bed in the morning).  But as it relates to the article I’m about to talk about, my body confidence is exponentially greater than it used to be.  I still have moments of insecurity and certainly there are things I want to work on and change, but in a healthy, girl-who-always-has-goals kind of way.  I can appreciate that I will never be rail thin, nor is that my goal.  I will always, always have curves and this is a good thing, because to be honest, I kind of like them.  And to be really honest, I don't think I'm the only one.  But this increase in body confidence is still a new feeling and a sensitive topic for me, which is why, when I hear/see/read things like what I’m about to post the link to, it crushes me.  And so, without further ado, here’s a link to what I deemed on facebook to be the most infuriating piece of writing I have ever read.

There are so many things wrong with this trashy, poorly written (squishy brick... what does that mean???) piece.  I almost can’t even gather my thoughts enough to coherently express my feelings.  I guess my first and foremost question is this:  Why in the world would anyone think that it’s okay to put that out into the universe?  How horrible it must be to be the kind of human being who thinks that it’s okay to publicly attack another human being like that and say such hurtful things.  I think that it would be my worst nightmare if I ever became that kind of person.  I guess you could argue that I’m “attacking” the writer of this piece but I can’t really muster up any sympathy for her so I’m giving myself a pass.

Secondly, Kate Upton is absolutely gorgeous.  If I had that smokin’ bod, I’d be stomping up and down runways too like I owned them.  And if I wanted to eat a ginormous (veggie) burger, I’d do that too.  And if I wanted to pose in sexy lingerie, guess what?  I’d do that too.  I’m completely thrown that there is a person on this Earth who would look at a picture of Kate Upton and see a cow.  It seems so ludicrous to me that it’d be funny if it didn’t hurt my heart so badly.  She’s a real person, you know?  And maybe she doesn’t care (and she shouldn’t care what one random, dare I say, bitchy woman thinks) but what happened to treating people with respect?  And how are other women (or even worse, teenage girls) supposed to feel when they see Kate and read that post?  If a woman like Kate is a cow, then what am I?  Answer:  Actually we are actually both fantastic. 

I’m starting to ramble which is really unfortunate b/c I think that words have power and I’d like for this post to be powerful & eloquent and I’m pretty sure I’m not quite getting there.  But I guess my point is that it’s hard enough to maintain some level of confidence in our society without tearing each other down as well.  Who stands to gain anything from that?  And weight-wise, it goes both ways.  A few weeks ago, I was reading a fashion blog and of the 400 or so comments, at least 200 of them were other women telling the model to “eat a sandwich” or some other “clever” insult for someone who is thin.  Because I can’t ever really keep my mouth shut when I’m fired up, I commented, asking the others to be kinder and to consider the fact that the model in the picture is a real person who can read what is being written about her.  A few people replied asking me if I’d want my daughter (if I had one) to look at pictures of that model and think that’s a normal body.  My response is that yes, I’d rather have her look at pictures of that body and Kate Upton’s body and the bodies of a hundred other women so that she knows that they are all beautiful and normal before I’d want her to read such vicious and mean comments from the peanut gallery.  

Maybe let's stop with the body-shaming and start with the love?  What do you think?

So to sum it up, I think Kate Upton is beautiful.  And I think I’m beautiful.  And I think you are beautiful.  And I’m never wrong.

Peas and Love My Loves!


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